Sunday, November 13, 2011
On Repressed Kids
In the car on the way home from church today, Maile was complaining that she NEVER EVER got to do anything she wanted.(I know, our kids are so repressed!) I sympathized a bit with her then told her she could look forward to going to college where she would be free to do whatever her heart desired. Arden said, "I'm glad I get to go to college first so I can do whatever I want!" Maile's angry response: "Arden, stop rubbing it in!"
Monday, November 7, 2011
The World Needs More Cheerleaders
As we go through life, we will all encounter many opportunities to criticize or chastise people for incompetence, stupidity, rudeness, mistakes, bad customer service, or a host of other things. Many of these criticisms are even justified! Whenever I get frustrated with someone and I get tempted to respond to my frustrations in a negative way, I bring to mind this quote I heard years ago. I have never forgotten it:
The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”
― Margaret D. Nadauld (former general Young Women's President)
I think to myself, "you know, Anna, you don't know what their life has been like. You don't know if they just had a terrible day. The world has enough hardness in it. Be soft. If someone needs correction (and some people do!), that can be someone else's job (and many people are happy to oblige). Your job can be to do your best to help them feel loved." So that is and has been my goal. I am not perfect in it, but it's the ideal I am working towards, and it's some advice I'd like my posterity to thoughtfully consider. We need to be each other's cheerleaders!
Every Time We See Something Gross, We Each Get a Mint
Kay, couple of cute "kid-isms."
So, our five year old Maile has an enormous vocabulary for her age and loves to talk. She says the cutest things sometimes, and keeps us smiling. I especially love her prayers. They are so thoughtful and sweet, and I often feel like hers put mine to shame!
Anyway, the other day I asked her what she had talked about in her primary class at church. Her response? "Today we learned about keeping our bodies clean and pure. We are supposed to eat tomatoes and other vegetables and take baths!"
Today out of the blue Maile said, "I am so grateful that Heavenly Father gave us five fingers! It's just the right amount."
A week or so ago, Maile did a job to earn some money to buy tic-tacs with. She got them and hoarded them carefully for several hours. She then came inside briefly from playing outside with Arden and told me her plan for how she was going to eat them. She said, "Every time we see something gross, we each get a mint." Arden and Maile must have seen a lot of gross things, because the mints were gone next time I saw the container!
So, a quick thing Arden did that I thought was so sweet. Tonight I was tucking him in bed (Maile and Dad had crashed early) and Arden asked if he could stay up a little longer with me. We had just played several board games together, and I told him he needed to get to bed so I could finish cleaning up and get to bed myself because I was so tired. He said, "Mom, just leave the table--I'll clean it in the morning for you." I told him thanks, but I'd probably go ahead and do it, since I don't like waking up to a mess. He said "Mom, I get up before you, I'll have it done by the time you wake up!"
Man, it's things like that which make me think we must be doing something alright as parents! This from a seven year old kid! I love it!
So, our five year old Maile has an enormous vocabulary for her age and loves to talk. She says the cutest things sometimes, and keeps us smiling. I especially love her prayers. They are so thoughtful and sweet, and I often feel like hers put mine to shame!
Anyway, the other day I asked her what she had talked about in her primary class at church. Her response? "Today we learned about keeping our bodies clean and pure. We are supposed to eat tomatoes and other vegetables and take baths!"
Today out of the blue Maile said, "I am so grateful that Heavenly Father gave us five fingers! It's just the right amount."
A week or so ago, Maile did a job to earn some money to buy tic-tacs with. She got them and hoarded them carefully for several hours. She then came inside briefly from playing outside with Arden and told me her plan for how she was going to eat them. She said, "Every time we see something gross, we each get a mint." Arden and Maile must have seen a lot of gross things, because the mints were gone next time I saw the container!
So, a quick thing Arden did that I thought was so sweet. Tonight I was tucking him in bed (Maile and Dad had crashed early) and Arden asked if he could stay up a little longer with me. We had just played several board games together, and I told him he needed to get to bed so I could finish cleaning up and get to bed myself because I was so tired. He said, "Mom, just leave the table--I'll clean it in the morning for you." I told him thanks, but I'd probably go ahead and do it, since I don't like waking up to a mess. He said "Mom, I get up before you, I'll have it done by the time you wake up!"
Man, it's things like that which make me think we must be doing something alright as parents! This from a seven year old kid! I love it!
Are You an Experienced Parent?
How to tell if you are an experienced parent:
When a minor crisis occurs, do you grab your camera or your kid?
(courtesy of Richard Eyre!)
When a minor crisis occurs, do you grab your camera or your kid?
(courtesy of Richard Eyre!)
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, It's Off to Work We Go
After years of kind of "muddling through," we have finally figured out a morning routine that works well for our family.
Me-up between 5:30 and 6:30
Catch up on e-mails, blog, journal
Personal scriptures and prayer
exercise
Kids-up (around 7:00), breakfast, family scriptures and memorization
Curtis off to work
me and kids-chores
"Mad Movie"
school
Here were my challenges: For chores, Arden has always responded well to chart systems with rewards for accomplishing certain kinds of goals, while Maile has not. Nor do most bribes or threats really work for her, so I needed something that would work for both of them. (I found that one of the few bribes that worked was movie time, so I decided to exploit that and work it into my schedule!)
I needed something that would be a little bit flexible, so if the kids (or the parents!) woke up later then normal, or if we lingered a bit over scripture study or breakfast, we could still carry out our routine and not "feel behind."
Maile is a dawdler. Big time. I hate having to nag, nag, nag, for her to get things done, so I needed some sort of deadline and some way for her to self-direct.
I needed the kids to get into good habits without me having to remember to remind them every day...brushing teeth, making their beds, etc.
I needed to have some time in the morning for myself--to shower, get dressed, etc., since as soon as I get back from exercising, we make breakfast and do scriptures, so we can get Curtis off to work in a timely fashion.
Here is what I came up with that has been working splendidly.
I wrote both the kids' jobs and things they needed to accomplish in the mornings on index cards. (I drew pictures on Maile's cards). I had some popcorn bags laying around the house which I labeled with the kids' names.
When each of them accomplishes the task on their card, they have me check it off and insert the card into their popcorn bag. When all of their cards are in their bag, they get to watch "Mom's Mad Movie." This is always a (short) educational show. (Lately it has been "Liberty's Kids" on Netflix.) Maile is a very visual person, so she likes to see the cards so she knows what she is supposed to do. It is also nice for her to see the cards going one-by-one into her bag, so she doesn't get overwhelmed by her tasks, and she can see how little she has left. Arden knows the routine well enough he doesn't need the cards any more.
To solve the time issue, I created a fun itunes playlist with lots of "working songs." It starts with The Teeth Brushing Song, when we all dash into the bathroom to brush our teeth, then goes on to the rest of the playlist with songs such as Happy Little Working Song, Spoon Full of Sugar, High-Ho, Clean Up, Whistle While You Work, etc.
The kids know that the movie starts right after the last song, so if they've dawdled, as soon as they hear the last song on the list begin, they get busy real quick! It eliminates my nagging! I love it!
Their movie time is just enough time for me to take a quick shower and get dressed.
Then we start school.
So, that is our routine. We've been doing it for a couple of months now and it has worked better then anything we've tried thus far. I even got a "Mom, this is fun!" from Maile when we first began it!
Me-up between 5:30 and 6:30
Catch up on e-mails, blog, journal
Personal scriptures and prayer
exercise
Kids-up (around 7:00), breakfast, family scriptures and memorization
Curtis off to work
me and kids-chores
"Mad Movie"
school
Here were my challenges: For chores, Arden has always responded well to chart systems with rewards for accomplishing certain kinds of goals, while Maile has not. Nor do most bribes or threats really work for her, so I needed something that would work for both of them. (I found that one of the few bribes that worked was movie time, so I decided to exploit that and work it into my schedule!)
I needed something that would be a little bit flexible, so if the kids (or the parents!) woke up later then normal, or if we lingered a bit over scripture study or breakfast, we could still carry out our routine and not "feel behind."
Maile is a dawdler. Big time. I hate having to nag, nag, nag, for her to get things done, so I needed some sort of deadline and some way for her to self-direct.
I needed the kids to get into good habits without me having to remember to remind them every day...brushing teeth, making their beds, etc.
I needed to have some time in the morning for myself--to shower, get dressed, etc., since as soon as I get back from exercising, we make breakfast and do scriptures, so we can get Curtis off to work in a timely fashion.
Here is what I came up with that has been working splendidly.
I wrote both the kids' jobs and things they needed to accomplish in the mornings on index cards. (I drew pictures on Maile's cards). I had some popcorn bags laying around the house which I labeled with the kids' names.
When each of them accomplishes the task on their card, they have me check it off and insert the card into their popcorn bag. When all of their cards are in their bag, they get to watch "Mom's Mad Movie." This is always a (short) educational show. (Lately it has been "Liberty's Kids" on Netflix.) Maile is a very visual person, so she likes to see the cards so she knows what she is supposed to do. It is also nice for her to see the cards going one-by-one into her bag, so she doesn't get overwhelmed by her tasks, and she can see how little she has left. Arden knows the routine well enough he doesn't need the cards any more.
To solve the time issue, I created a fun itunes playlist with lots of "working songs." It starts with The Teeth Brushing Song, when we all dash into the bathroom to brush our teeth, then goes on to the rest of the playlist with songs such as Happy Little Working Song, Spoon Full of Sugar, High-Ho, Clean Up, Whistle While You Work, etc.
The kids know that the movie starts right after the last song, so if they've dawdled, as soon as they hear the last song on the list begin, they get busy real quick! It eliminates my nagging! I love it!
Their movie time is just enough time for me to take a quick shower and get dressed.
Then we start school.
So, that is our routine. We've been doing it for a couple of months now and it has worked better then anything we've tried thus far. I even got a "Mom, this is fun!" from Maile when we first began it!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Of Freedom and $$
Two years ago by happenstance, I came across some lectures on CD by this man, Dave Ramsey.
I had heard my good friend mention his name, so I picked up the CDs and Curtis and I began listening to them in the evenings as we cleaned the kitchen. Not only was he humorous and fun to listen to, with lots of good anecdotes, but we felt he had great advice as well! We began implementing many of his suggestions into our financial dealings, and I can say that we have drastically changed the way we do our finances because of his advice. I'll be honest--it's been sometimes a challenge to be disciplined, and we've had to put off a lot of things we would have liked to purchase, but the rewards have been great.
This last month has been a very exciting month for us, as we are now COMPLETELY DEBT FREE!!!!! BOY does it feel good! No car loans, no student loans, no medical bills, no house loans...we are FREE! And we hope to stay that way! (With MAYBE the exception of purchasing a house within the next couple of years--with a substantial down payment!)
It's kinda neat too, because as we have been doing this, it's somehow gotten brought up with old college roommates and friends, and I have been surprised at how many people I come across who are also doing his method!
Copied and pasted from his website, here are Dave's seven baby steps to financial security.
Baby Step 1
$1,000 to start an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is for those unexpected events in life that you can’t plan for: the loss of a job, an unexpected pregnancy, a faulty car transmission, and the list goes on and on. It’s not a matter of if these events will happen; it’s simply a matter of when they will happen.
Baby Step 2
Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
List your debts, excluding the house, in order. The smallest balance should be your number one priority. Don’t worry about interest rates unless two debts have similar payoffs. If that’s the case, then list the higher interest rate debt first.
Baby Step 3
3 to 6 months of expenses in savings
Once you complete the first two baby steps, you will have built serious momentum. But don’t start throwing all your “extra” money into investments quite yet. It’s time to build your full emergency fund.
Baby Step 4
Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
When you reach this step, you’ll have no payments—except the house—and a fully funded emergency fund. Now it’s time to get serious about building wealth.
Baby Step 5
College funding for children
By this point, you should have already started Baby Step 4—investing 15% of your income—before saving for college. Whether you are saving for you or your child to go to college, you need to start now.
Baby Step 6
Pay off home early
Now it’s time to begin chunking all of your extra money toward the mortgage. You are getting closer to realizing the dream of a life with no house payments.
Baby Step 7
Build wealth and give!
It’s time to build wealth and give like never before. Leave an inheritance for future generations, and bless others now with your excess.
I had heard my good friend mention his name, so I picked up the CDs and Curtis and I began listening to them in the evenings as we cleaned the kitchen. Not only was he humorous and fun to listen to, with lots of good anecdotes, but we felt he had great advice as well! We began implementing many of his suggestions into our financial dealings, and I can say that we have drastically changed the way we do our finances because of his advice. I'll be honest--it's been sometimes a challenge to be disciplined, and we've had to put off a lot of things we would have liked to purchase, but the rewards have been great.
This last month has been a very exciting month for us, as we are now COMPLETELY DEBT FREE!!!!! BOY does it feel good! No car loans, no student loans, no medical bills, no house loans...we are FREE! And we hope to stay that way! (With MAYBE the exception of purchasing a house within the next couple of years--with a substantial down payment!)
It's kinda neat too, because as we have been doing this, it's somehow gotten brought up with old college roommates and friends, and I have been surprised at how many people I come across who are also doing his method!
Copied and pasted from his website, here are Dave's seven baby steps to financial security.
Baby Step 1
$1,000 to start an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is for those unexpected events in life that you can’t plan for: the loss of a job, an unexpected pregnancy, a faulty car transmission, and the list goes on and on. It’s not a matter of if these events will happen; it’s simply a matter of when they will happen.
Baby Step 2
Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
List your debts, excluding the house, in order. The smallest balance should be your number one priority. Don’t worry about interest rates unless two debts have similar payoffs. If that’s the case, then list the higher interest rate debt first.
Baby Step 3
3 to 6 months of expenses in savings
Once you complete the first two baby steps, you will have built serious momentum. But don’t start throwing all your “extra” money into investments quite yet. It’s time to build your full emergency fund.
Baby Step 4
Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
When you reach this step, you’ll have no payments—except the house—and a fully funded emergency fund. Now it’s time to get serious about building wealth.
Baby Step 5
College funding for children
By this point, you should have already started Baby Step 4—investing 15% of your income—before saving for college. Whether you are saving for you or your child to go to college, you need to start now.
Baby Step 6
Pay off home early
Now it’s time to begin chunking all of your extra money toward the mortgage. You are getting closer to realizing the dream of a life with no house payments.
Baby Step 7
Build wealth and give!
It’s time to build wealth and give like never before. Leave an inheritance for future generations, and bless others now with your excess.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Of Painted Ladies
For Maile's birthday, one of the presents she got was a little butterly habitat from Insect Lore. She is such a critter person, and loved watching the little catapillars turn into chrysalises, and then emerge as beautiful painted lady butterflies. She had fun carrying the last one of the five around the house before she let it go.
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